5. Practical Boundaries: energy vampires and energetic protection
The topic of boundaries is very important to all empaths who tend to feel very challenged at developing healthy relationships. For the Goddess Empath, you struggle less so than some other empaths, but you do tend to invite people into your life that might ask a lot from you—which will deplete your energy over time or lead to you building up resentment.
Due to your caring nature, people who need a lot of emotional support often are attracted to you. This can also include people who are sometimes described as having energy vampire-like behaviors.
What this means is that they end up taking more than they give, or the relationship ends up feeling nonmutual energetically.
These are individuals with their own struggles, but who tend to need their emotional fulfillment from another person and end up taking your power over time for their own (at times subconsciously) need for love, compassion, and kindness—generally things an empath is very good at holding space for. The concept of energy vampires is a symptom of our distorted society and how society has failed to meet the needs of the community at the individual level.
For an empath like yourself, this can leave you vulnerable to being taken advantage of for your kindness as so many people are starved for affection, love, and care. This, however, doesn’t mean that it is your responsibility to fulfill the needs of those around you or individuals who are toxic, harmful, or abusive towards you.
Protecting yourself from toxic energies is important in order for you to maintain your personal power, sovereignty, and sense of self. You can easily get lost in the needs of another person, especially when falling in love or getting intimate. Therefore, it is helpful as an empath to have systems in place that can help you manage your boundaries and energetic self-protection.
In addition, boundaries in general are a good way to ensure that you are also getting what you need out of a relationship or connection, job situation, and the like. You often accommodate others to the point of your own desires being ignored. It doesn’t have to be this way and a lot of the time by setting a boundary you are able to overcome feelings of fear, guilt, and shame as a part of your empathic journey.
1. Boundaries around social media, messaging, and availability
You deeply appreciate your time to yourself and sometimes it can feel like you are constantly needing to check something on your phone, online, or be available for others. Here are some ways to manage your boundaries around media:
- Take mini-phone vacations periodically throughout the day if you can, leaving your phone off for 20 or so minutes or in another room for as long as you can.
- Turn your notifications on silent and check them at predetermined times throughout the day. Do the same with responding to emails, texts, messages, etc.
- Don’t feel like you have to answer people right away, you can leave messages hanging for a while. If you don’t have the emotional capacity to respond right this second and it can be left for later, do that.
- Delete or put apps to sleep for a while or choose not to post or read your feeds.
- Be selective about which accounts you follow and who you interact with online.
- Block people that are mean or disrespectful to you online. If you get a message that makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to block that person from seeing or interacting with your accounts.
- Make a point to meet up with friends in person more often if you can and avoid only digital communication and relationship building—this will help you know better how you actually feel about someone and if you want to let your guard down, get closer, or not. Those things can be hard to read over digital messaging.
- Allow yourself power over your availability, if you are not available that is okay—you do not have to rearrange your schedule just because someone has asked that of you or attempted to make you feel bad or guilty because you are not available. You have a right to take care of yourself and your needs on your own timeframe.
2. Vocalize: Asserting boundaries and opening up to your sharing your truth
Goddess Empaths tend to have a rich inner life and often keep many things to themselves. You also don’t trust people right off the bat, which can be helpful as you figure out who you want in your life!
At times, however, you may feel this interferes with your ability to get close with someone you like or want to get to know deeper. Or it can make it hard for you to verbalize when you need to set boundaries with someone who is crossing them or manipulating you in order to get what they want. Getting better at expressing your feelings and needs can help when it comes to thriving in your interpersonal relationships as an empath.
Steps:
- If you feel safe in your situation you can practice verbalizing your feelings. Sometimes this takes practice and time, it doesn’t happen overnight and that is okay.
- When you feel you are ready to get close to someone or feel that you need to set up a boundary, spend some time with yourself beforehand to figure out what you feel comfortable sharing and what is important for you to convey to the other person. Make lists, write them down, journal, or think about it.
- Understand what emotions and supports need to be maintained in order for you to feel secure in opening up to this person.
- You can give the person a letter if in-person confrontation is too much at the moment.
- Or you can try recording a voice message of you speaking your thoughts without interruption.
- Set the scene for the discussion to take place, set aside time to talk with the person when you both can be present, calm, and relaxed.
- Be the one to orchestrate the meeting so you have as much control as possible over the setting, timing, and tone.
- Focus on managing your own emotions only and let the other person manage theirs. You don’t have to do the emotional work for both of you.
- If the conversation becomes too unbalanced, you can always end it and pick it up at another time.
- Their response is not your responsibility, that is their work to sort out.
- When you have finished sharing, which can be hard for you, feel free to take space to process on your own or with someone close to you.
- Time to integrate your experience into your psyche allows you to remember what works and what doesn’t, giving your memory time to form and solidify what feels right for you when asserting your boundaries.
3. Rebuilding after a shattering emotional experience
Empaths move through the world in a highly sensitive state that can leave them vulnerable to feeling emotionally “wrecked” after an interaction with someone that is an energy vampire or has narcissistic tendencies.
Giving yourself a lot of gentle healing and space after events like these can be essential to your mental health and wellbeing as an empath.
Steps:
- Know that you are valid.
- Your feelings are real.
- You have the right to give yourself time to recover.
- You can self-soothe, cry, and express your feelings.
- You’ve done difficult work and used a lot of personal energy and life force.
- Have a lot of compassion for yourself.
- Take the space that you need.
- Journal, write, or create around your feelings.
- Do something grounding, cook, or eat a meal?
- Talk with a close friend or family member to process and gain perspectives.
- Rest, watch TV, and ‘zone’ out.
- Take a shower or bath to ‘cleanse’ your energy.
6. Practical Ideas for grounding and anxiety
Grounding is an essential part of any empath’s toolbox. The Goddess Empath may feel anxiety or other uprootedness when there are changes in routine, difficult conversations, or a lack of rest and relaxation throughout the day. You rarely like to be going all the time and value the space you have to slow down and drink in the essence of being.
Here are some grounding methods to be aware of for your specifc archetype:
1. Regular meals, nutrition, and diet
Making sure you have regular meals, especially ones that are deeply nourishing is important to your archetype. You are highly aware of the energy that food has, you may be interested in the body, health, and wellness—which carries over into food and diet. You have the discipline and devotion that would be needed to take a highly refined approach to your diet.
More so than some of the other empath archetypes, you can become hyperaware of which foods have what effect on you. Use this information to help you ground. When you have eaten a meal with the right nutrients you are much better able to manage your life. Food is one of your grounding medicines.
2. Exercise
Exercise and movement are important to your type. When you forget to move your energy, you may tend to get cranky or irritable. Just taking a quick walk or stepping outside can sometimes be enough to shift your mood. Fitness that happens in conjunction with other activities is also a plus for you—things such as cleaning up, organizing, gardening, or other daily activities can tend to substitute for your fitness.
Get creative, dance it out. Using your body in this way allows you to root into your physical self and feel truly rested and at ease.
3. Showers and baths
One of your elements is water, therefore, taking a bath, shower, or being around water can be extremely grounding for you. Water is comforting and has a message for you to interpret.
You can almost hear its energy when you spend time near the ocean, a stream, or a lake. There is something very soothing to your soul about the mysterious and powerful properties that water holds.
Allowing yourself time to visit these spaces is deeply nourishing. When you are having a stressful moment or day, see if you can get yourself near some water or take a hot bath—even drinking a glass of water can help. Anything you can do to align yourself with the powers of water allows you to feel connected to your roots, ancestors, and emotional self.
4. Light candles
A grounding technique with immediate results is to light a candle. As a Goddess Empath, you like things that are ritualistic and tactile. Striking a match to light a candle, then stare at the flame can instantly bring you into the present moment. It can calm your nerves and let you know that everything is going to be alright. Feel soothed by the warm and homey presence the flame provides.