Lover Empath – Chapter 11

The Lover Empath personality in relationships, love, and friendship


Introduction to your archetype’s personality in relationships

Relationships are the wheelhouse of the Lover Empath. You seek out connections as a way of understanding yourself. You are highly sensitive to the energy that is exchanged between you and another person. When it comes to negotiating partnerships—platonic and romantic—you are all in. You can keenly tune in to what is happening and have an idea of how you want things to go.

Your relationships benefit from your excellent communication and diplomacy. Not only do you tend to have an intellectual understanding of various relationship structures, but you also have an emotional context for these concepts as well. This doesn’t mean your relationships are always easy, but it does give you a structure from which to approach love, dating, and connecting.

You have a propensity to bring a heart of service into your partnerships. While this can fit in very nicely within a dynamic, you should also keep in mind what will make you feel overextended. With your capacity for making room for other’s emotions, you often jump into the role of counselor. This can be helpful to a point, but also might create an imbalance in your connections. Being fully aware of when is the right time and place to use your advice-giving skills can improve your engagement in relationships.

Overall, you are a truthful, kind, and loving person to the people in your life. You give what you can and then some. Your relationships are the basis from which you frame all of your other experiences. These important currents of energy in your life bring you comfort, lessons, joys, and insights on your empathic journey.

Your archetype’s personality in love

As love is one of the central threads running through your life, you tend to crave the space that intimate connection allows, and you desire the deep experience that comes with falling in love. An ability to give and receive affection comes easily to you. You also tend towards sentimentality.

Your natural amorous nature, along with your expert negotiation skills, means you have the capacity to love multiple people at once. You might be drawn towards nontraditional relationship structures or like to seek out experiences in which you can explore who you are attracted to in different contexts and with different lovers.

You can juggle multiple committed relationships at once and prefer situations in which you can get to know someone over a long period of time. Your heart wants to go deep when it comes to relationships.

You want to blossom into who you are alongside your lover. The way you imagine your life going and the things you want to achieve always include a partner in your plan.

When it comes to being in partnership with another person, you become very open in some aspects of the relationship but stay guarded in others. You may act with a sense of detachment at first to be better able to discern if the situation is healthy for you. When it comes to dating, this is an important defense mechanism for you.

There is a tendency to get into some toxic relationship dynamics in which you are providing most of the emotional labor. It can be hard to recognize this pattern, as you are adept at working through emotions and may not realize how much work you are actually putting in. You tend to slip into this role for both yourself and your partner.

At times you stay in connections for a while, desiring to use the relationship techniques you are knowledgeable about for improving the situation. Having awareness of this by daily journaling or recording of your experiences can alert you to the fact that something might need to change. You might need to renegotiate if you are feeling burned out in a relationship or even consider leaving a romantic connection.

After being with someone for a while, you find your emotional rhythm and are able to get your needs met more satisfactorily. You are such an even-keeled personality, that you settle into your love life with a desire to put down roots. This is very helpful in managing stable, long-term partnerships for you and also aligns with what you desire.

A list of traits the Lover Empath should look for in a romantic partner

So what traits should you look for in a romantic partner? Here is a list of some things that resonate well with the Lover Archetype!

Someone who…
  • Likes to discuss emotions
  • Can and wants to negotiate around relationships and boundaries
  • Is a good listener
  • Is flexible and playful
  • Will allow you to lead when you want to
  • Gives you space for time with your family and friends
  • Respects your commitments and responsibilities
  • Makes space for you to sort out your feelings
  • Appreciates your beauty and aesthetic senses
  • Supports your creative or entrepreneurial pursuits
  • Doesn’t take advantage of your generous spirit
  • Stays in communication with you regularly
  • Provides validation for the emotional work that you bring to partnerships.

Your archetype’s personality in friendship

Your friendships hold a prominent place in your life, as do all of your relationships. You tend to have an active social life and spend a lot of time with others. You feel rejuvenated by social interactions and seek them out for personal fulfillment. In general, you might describe yourself as an ambivert.

You want to be validated by your friends and will provide this to them in return. Even though you have many acquaintances and tend to make friends easily, you likely have a core group of friends that have known you for years. These are the people who truly value you and you can rely on.

You often make friends with colleagues and can generally have a good time with anyone. In addition, you get enjoyment from planning events and inviting people to gatherings. You are an excellent facilitator of creating interesting get-togethers; your creativity is easily channeled into the unique experiences you curate for your friends and yourself.

Who the Lover Empath is drawn to in friendship

The Lover Empath needs to know that you can count on the people with whom you share your vulnerable sides. As someone who needs to verbally process emotions, having talkative friends is recommended. People in your life who like to parse out details and analyze behaviors with you tend to be people you can identify with.

Because you’ve spent so much mental energy on understanding feelings, you prefer to be around people who have a high level of self-awareness. You like to discuss relationship dynamics and have friends with whom you can lightly gossip and chat regularly.

Someone you can warmly debate with also makes for a perfect friend. You do enjoy taking on the role of ‘devil’s advocate’, therefore, someone able to meet you in conversations that allow you to do this is fulfilling for you. You rarely, if ever, argue with your friends, doing what you can to avoid all unpleasant scenarios.

If possible, you seek out others who are able to maintain a sense of calm even when things are stressful. This allows you to talk things out in a clear, rational way that tends to work best for you in friendships. In addition, your gracious personality prefers the same from others. You want to be around people who let you be yourself, make mistakes, and healthily discuss when things do go awry.

Overall, you have a rich and active social life. You tend to call people into your life who are patient and open to your point of view, and your accommodating personality. You forge meaningful connections with others and have a variety of friends you can call upon.

The Lover Empath’s compatibility with other Empath Archetypes in friendships

Empath archetypes that vibe well with your energy are:

The empath archetypes that vibe well with your energy are ones that enjoy cerebral and intellectual discussions around emotions. You get along with empaths that will analyze and pick apart conversations in detail. The intelligence and thoroughness of the Healer Empath are traits that you truly admire.

You are inspired by the Visionary Empath’s sense of purpose and tend to enjoy socializing with this extroverted personality. Deep respect can form between you and the grounding energies of the Goddess Empath. Overall, you appreciate the justice, balance, and equality that these three archetypes tend to embody.