5. Practical Boundaries: energy vampires and energetic protection
The topic of boundaries is very important to all empaths, who tend to face challenges in developing healthy relationship structures due to their accommodating personalities. You may choose not to prioritize your own needs in the hopes of pleasing another person or out of fear that you will upset them if you assert your desires in a situation.
This can stem from an underlying concern that they won’t like you or that the people in your life will disapprove of you. As a sensitive soul, this can be very hard on you and in order to avoid these unpleasant feelings, it leads to people-pleasing tendencies and poor boundaries. However, there are ways you can manage this experience, which will be discussed in this section.
For the Visionary Empath, you are generally able to vocalize boundaries and needs pretty clearly, however, there are times when you really like someone or you want to impress someone so you let your true feelings go under wraps. This can contribute to some relationship dynamics that are not the healthiest for you.
People come into your life for many different reasons, but when you find yourself in a connection with someone where you are regularly betraying yourself, then it’s time to pay attention to your inner self and what actions you need to take to shift the energy.
Some people in your life could be described as having energy vampire-like behaviors. They end up taking your energy and are unable to give in return, or the relationship is energetically non-mutual. This can leave you vulnerable to being taken advantage of as energy-vampire people are often starved for affection, love, and care and you like to give this type of support to others.
Keep in mind though, that it is not your sole responsibility to fulfill the needs of those around you or individuals who are toxic, harmful, or abusive towards you – or just individuals who you choose not to engage with just because you don’t want to.
Boundaries are a good way to ensure that you are also getting what you need out of a relationship, job situation, and the like. Setting boundaries provides you with more self-empowerment and can help you overcome feelings of fear, guilt, and shame that you might feel when you assert yourself or express your needs and opinions.
Protecting yourself from toxic energies is important in order for you to maintain your personal power, sovereignty, and sense of self. It is recommended to have systems in place that can help you manage your boundaries and energetic self-protection.
Here are some suggestions for managing boundaries:
1. Investigate: anxiety’s connection with empathy
Asking questions can help you discern if what you are feeling is anxiety versus empathy and intuition. Sometimes a little bit of anxiety creeps in and gives you a funny feeling in your gut which gets mixed up with your intuition. Don’t ignore these feelings, but also investigate where they are coming from. Trust yourself to be able to work through the differences. Make a list and write out your feelings to gain an even sharper perspective.
Investigate a situation more to gather information. If your gut is giving you a certain vibe or off feeling, then look into that further. Ask questions of the person who is making you feel this way. Avoid letting things go unspoken. Sometimes just asking clears things up immediately. Any misunderstandings get sorted straight away, boundaries are drawn, and everyone can move forward feeling good about the situation. Use your extroverted tendencies to initiate conversations that need to be had.
2. Reduce your exposure
Setting up an energetic shield is a great tool for you. Just setting this boundary in your own mind’s eye, puts you back in control and allows you to set an intention for changing the trajectory of a situation.
To set up an energetic boundary, you meditate on yourself surrounded by something like a cell membrane that will only let certain things in, while keeping other things out.
Here is a list of other visualizations you can try:
- Thorny Plant or bush
- Orb of light
- Orb made of lace
- Orb of energy
3. Speak up in real-time
You generally know what you think and feel in the moment as things are unfolding. Utilize this aspect of yourself if you feel someone is taking advantage of your sensitive side. It is okay to call people out as you state the facts. You are excellent at saying what you mean, therefore, when you say what needs to be stated, you have a much better chance at intercepting before your feelings get hurt. This also helps you intercept before boundaries get blurred or crossed.
4. Analyze with a friend
Reviewing events with a friend can also be extremely helpful for you. The Visionary Empath tends to have a clear view of what happened and everyone’s motivation who was involved in something. However, there are times when you are really close to a situation and you might have trouble discerning your feelings from someone else’s. This is why a close friend to help you sort through situations can be helpful.
If someone is trying to manipulate you and you are picking up on this then keeping a friend informed of the interactions you’ve been having, gives you a chance to see it from another perspective.
6. Practical Ideas for grounding and anxiety
Your daily emotional experience might be accompanied by frayed nerves or a sensation that you are being submerged in nervous excitement. Grounding exercises can help you get through patches of anxiety and stress. The concept of grounding involves bringing your awareness back into the present moment, moving through emotions, and centering yourself in your physical body.
The Visionary Empath needs to remember to have patience with themselves and to ask for help when they have taken on more than they can handle. You really want to do it all or believe that this is what you should be doing. Working on reaching out to your networks can support you in avoiding feeling burnt out.
Here are some grounding methods to be aware of for your specific archetype:
1. Ask for help regularly by reversing the scenario
For as community-minded as you are, great at setting boundaries, and willing to help others, you sometimes find it hard to ask others for help when you need something. You can learn to do this through practice. Let yourself ask for help by evaluating the situation by reversing scenarios in your head. Consider a situation in which you were asked to help someone. You probably did it without any hesitation. So when you need to ask for help, think of it as if someone was asking you.
They will likely be very willing to help you out, and if they aren’t it’s okay. Accepting a “no” is a part of the asking for help process. By asking for help on a regular basis, you will feel less overwhelmed and less anxious, and stressed about all the things you have to get done.
2. Spread out your commitments
Spreading out your commitments can have several benefits. One is that you have more time each day for grounding and self-care, which is important to someone who is always on the go like you. Another is you won’t feel so overbooked day-to-day. Making sure your activities are a part of your life but in a more manageable way creates a much better flow for you. You won’t be anxiety-ridden having to cancel on people at the last minute or feel that you let someone or yourself down by not being able to do the many things you committed to in a day. Avoid these experiences by slowing down.
3. More attention towards restful sleep
As you tend to be a busy person with an active life, you need to get the most out of your time sleeping. Setting up sleep routines and restful sleep rituals are highly recommended for you. Here are some things you can do to enhance your sleeping experience:
- No screens at least 30 minutes before bed
- Take a relaxing bath before bed
- Have your bed made before getting into it
- Chant the affirmation as you go to sleep each night “I will sleep deeply and soundly” at least 30 times as you fall asleep
- Turn off all the lights and use blackout curtains
- Try bedtime herbal teas to relax your nervous system
- Avoid caffeine after 12:00 pm — it can take up to 10 hours for caffeine to completely be out of your system
- Listen to a meditation or sleep hypnosis recording as you fall asleep
- Sleep with rest-inducing crystals; lepidolite, selenite, celestite, and smokey quartz
- Meditate on moving your thoughts from your mind down into your heart
- Get to bed about 20 minutes earlier than you normally do
- Experiment to know how many hours of sleep are best for you personally and work on getting yourself into a routine that matches that